Lets Agree To Disagree

                                  Parenting Styles

Mom vs. Dad

Lets face it, raising kids is difficult, but there is an extra added stress when you and your partner disagree on each other's parenting styles. It is difficult to focus on what is important when your main focus is who is right or wrong. Most parents choose to parent how their own parents raised them and sometimes that is not the best choice. Every child is different and how your parents raised you might not necessarily work for your children, or for you.  I knew that my husband and I would have different parenting styles, but I also knew how understanding and open he was when it came to raising our kids. Sometimes we agree to disagree, but we respect each other's decisions. You just have to remember that dad's opinion is just as important as mom's. I think that is where a lot of parents go wrong. As moms, we feel we are superior over dad, but we fail to realize that we are in a partnership and we are equal to each other. Dad needs to feel important too. Remember that.

Parenting is not a competition. Parenting works best when both the mom and the dad are on the same page. Believe me children will use that against you!

My toddler knows that I am the sweet one and I will barely spank him. I am more open to talking to him and letting him express his feelings, but if he gets too out of control I will spank him. His dad on the other hand is viewed as the mean one. He is not as open as I am to trying to find out why he acting the way he do and alternate disciplinary actions, so he uses that against his father and I. This can be stressful at times because I know that he is going through his terrible two's and regressive stage and he does not know how to properly express his feelings. I know he is on an emotional roller coaster, but his father thinks he is "just bad" and that he knows better. This is where our different parenting styles come into play.

The Downfall  

Different parenting styles can have a lasting effect on a relationship. It can harm the most rock solid relationships and can sometimes end them. It can lead to unnecessary arguments, or even fights. Parents have to realize that even though their kids are young it does not stop them from seeing what is going on. Once they figure out, they will try to use it against you. It does not get better over time unless something changes within the parents. 

Someones has to learn when to step back..

and let the other parent take the lead... It does not matter how many books you have read, or how much experience or research you have done. Dads want and need to feel like their role is as important as mom's role. You do not want your children growing up feeling like they do not have to respect their father, or do what he says. That can lead to resentment on the father's side.

So what can we do?

As mothers, it can be hard for us to see our kids being discipline. We might even step in when we feel the treatment is too harsh which can lead to a argument. It is hard to step out the way and let dad handle the situation, but he needs that. Your relationship needs that. Your kids need that. So what do you do when you want to be on the same page as your partner? Okay if your husband is anything like mines, you know that he will not do the research you did, or read as many books. I can tell my husband where to search, what to read, the page number and what section to find it in, and he still will not get it. But what I do know is that if we are sitting face to face talking he will listen.

I would suggest printing out information, and reading it together. That way if you have any questions, or concerns they can be addressed right then and there. Moms listen to your partner and let them know their feelings matter. Their role matters.

Communication is key

Be understanding,

Compassionate and understanding of their needs

in the end both parents wants what is best for their children. You might not see eye to eye on every situation and that is okay, but your parenting relationship will be in a much better state. Which is truly in the best interest of the child.